Life is short.

Break the rules, forgive quickly, kiss slowly, love truly, laugh uncontrollably, and never regret anything that made you smile. Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we’re here, we should dance.

– compilation of quotes from Mark Twain and Amber Deckers

Small mountain of ill-fitting clothes

While I’m not ready to dive into the minimalism ocean quite yet, I am tip-toeing my way into the waters and it feels nice so far. As my previous post outlined, I’ve started following a number of blogs for inspiration.

Today Nina at Castles in the Air posted about the 47 things she owns. Yes 47. Now to be fair she has her own “rules” about how she groups things – such as all underwear together counts as 1 thing – and she doesn’t count consumables like toothpaste or crackers and such. But regardless, this is still an amazing feat in my eyes. She has really pared her belongings down to the essentials — and she’s taken a photo of each item and made a collage for her blog post. Very cool visual inspiration for me!

So I started looking at my closet and clothes in a new light. Do I really need all of this? A few weeks ago I was daydreaming about getting another dresser that could hold more; now I’ve decided my clothes must fit in the space I already have. “This mission, should you choose to accept it…” 😉

I have accepted the mission. And thus the small mountain of ill-fitting clothes stacked precariously behind me. A few of the pieces scream for attention, begging me not to throw them out. Look, I’m such a great color! Remember when you bought me? But if they don’t pass the test, they go away, it’s as simple as that. The test? Try them on and answer these questions honestly. Do I like how it fits (no, not when I lose 5-10 pounds, NOW)? When was the last time I wore it? And most important of all, my new ultimate question: if this were the only thing I had that was clean, would I wear it?!? If I answer no, it goes away (I have piles for donating, selling, and trash). I’ve only tackled a few drawers so far and the mountain is getting larger and larger…perhaps I’ll take a photo of the final pile to post here.

What she said

Earlier today I posted on my design & organizing blog about some blogs I’m reading for minimalist inspiration — since the topic really spans to both of my blogs, I’m linking to it here.  How many times did I just say blog?!?! Too many 😉 Over & out…

Live. Laugh. Love.

There was a great post on the Ladies Who Launch blog today on Living Well, Laughing Often, and Loving Much — which are words Victoria (the brains behind LWL) found on the inside wrapper of a Dove Bar recently. I loved Victoria’s comment, “It occurred to me that “living,” “laughing,” and “loving” all revolve around one common theme: slowing down. If you think about it, it’s almost impossible to do any of the three when you hurry through life.”

This resonated with me for many reasons, especially since it’s a Monday. We all need a reminder of what’s really important as we kick off another week. While being productive and getting things done feels good, it doesn’t feel half as good as laughing and enjoying time with the ones we love.

I’ve been blessed this past year and a half — with my more relaxed schedule (and my shift in priorities), I get to spend oodles of time with my wonderful husband, my cats, and many friends and family. If feels good to put relationships first.

As Victoria goes on to say, “Whenever you feel stressed, overwhelmed or unable to “keep up,” ask yourself if you were on your deathbed, how much would this matter?” This is a great way to re-frame a situation I think. As shown by many different studies, interviews, anecdotes, etc., when someone is near the end of their life, they rarely if ever say I wish I’d worked more. Or, I wish I’d kept the house cleaner. They almost always express I wish I’d spent more time with my family. I wish I’d lived in the moment and enjoyed life more.

Live Well. Laugh Often. Love Much.

The road less traveled

Choosing to not become a mom has put me on a different path–the road less traveled, so to speak–than most of my friends and family.  While I know I am doing what’s right for me and my husband and our life goals, it’s still hard not to second-guess and wonder “what if?” That question especially plagues me when I’m in turmoil about what to do next with my life. And when I have crazy hormone surges 😉

My hubby and I have re-opened the “kids discussion” on more than one occasion (thanks to the above mentioned hormones!), but always land in the same spot: no thanks, not for us. And while we are fairly confident and happy with our decision, it’s still hard to face the awkward questions and, at times, all-out inquisition by people as to why not. I think this is what amazes me most — the people who feel the need to ask VERY personal questions about a very personal choice. As if their line of questioning and insistence that having kids is the only way to feel fulfilled will somehow, in a matter of minutes, change our minds!!

Wow, I hadn’t thought of that — who will take care of me when I’m old? That has to be one of the most insulting comments we’ve received. More than once or twice. Like we hadn’t even considered what our lives will be like when we’re old!! Trust me, it’s a regular conversation topic around our house. What do we want our lives to be like? When will we retire and what do we want to do with ourselves, since we don’t have to pay for college and cars and such for kids? Who should we put in our will?

And for the record, having kids does NOT guarantee they’ll take care of you. You’d best have better reasons! I’ve volunteered at a nursing home for nearly five years and there are people who only see their kids once or twice a year, even if they live in the same town (makes me sad). What I find amazing are the other friends and family members who step forward in this time of need — nieces and nephews, family friends, church members, even fellow volunteers and staff members. So I trust that if we’re good people and take care of the others in our flock when we can, they will take care of us when the time comes. Pay it forward. I’m not having kids so I can guilt them into taking care of me when I’m older, or resent them because they won’t! 😉

Okay, that said…I do see many reasons to have kids. I do! I love my niece and nephew. I enjoy watching my friends’ kids grow up. I like to nurture and teach. I’ve been told time and time again I’d be “such a good mom.” (Thank you for noticing, but I’d also make a good lawyer, airline pilot, and many other things but am choosing not to!) I’m sure becoming a parent is an amazing (albeit stressful) experience. And you’re right, I’ll never know the unconditional love of my own child. But that’s okay. (My husband and I like to reverse that comment and say, “But you’ll never know the joy and freedom of not having kids!”) None of these reasons are enough to push me “over the edge” to the point of wanting kids for myself. At least not yet…we have given ourselves the option to change our minds.

For now I’ll stay on my road, figuring out where it will lead next. I think that’s one of the most difficult, scariest, and exhilerating parts of not having kids — my road is less traveled and unpaved, and I get to make it my own.  There aren’t many maps or role models. There are no prescribed milestones or goals. There is no right or wrong way to go about it. There’s just my way and I’m still figuring it out. And that’s scary and awesome at the same time.

Reading to Quiet the Riot

Once again as I read the daily tip from Ladies Who Launch this morning, I was inspired (which is most helpful on a Monday!). The tip focused on the importance of reading the “old-fashioned way” to quiet your brain and focus. Victoria writes, “Reading, in its quietness and sustained concentration, is the opposite of busyness. And a necessary activity for balanced living.” She also shared this tidbit from Soren Kierkegard, a Danish philosopher, who defined “busyness” as: that state of constant distraction that allows people to avoid difficult realities and maintain self deceptions.

Sound familiar? It sure did to me! I am a master at busying myself. I used to never have time for things like reading – or if I did, it would last about 10 minutes while on the bus or train, or before I would think of something else I *had* to do. But over the past 18 months I’ve read more books than in the 5 years prior, spanning all sorts of categories, topics, and authors. And after reading Victoria’s post, it made me feel even better about my decision to make reading a priority. I know I am calmer and wiser for it. I can actually read for hours at a time now! And I miss it if I don’t read for several days. Alas I’m learning to slow down and (hopefully) become a master at balancing myself.

Signs, Signs, Everywhere Are Signs

No, not the Five Man Electrical Band song. Nor the Tesla recording of that song. I mean the signs that have appeared in my life recently that are impossible to ignore! I’ve had a series of incidents and happenings that, in retrospect, seem to imply SLOW DOWN. DO LESS. ENJOY THE PRESENT.

From my layoff in 2009 (going from working 50+ hours a week to zero was a bit of a shock!) to my recent hormone-caused frozen shoulder (OUCH) and hyperthyroidism diagnosis (complete with an extremely overactive “hot nodule” on my thyroid!), the world seems to be telling me to relax and slow down. I think I’m going to listen. 😉

When to Act

I belong to an online group for women entrepreneurs called Ladies Who Launch and they send out daily pieces of advice and inspiration. Today’s tip really struck a chord with me: 5 ways to identify an opportunity and when to act on it. I have no lack of ideas…but I do have limited time and energy, so I welcome anything that helps me better choose where to focus!

Lot with a view…of my future?

We spent this past weekend – our sixth wedding anniversary – at my family cabin in central Oregon with some good friends. The cabin has always been my favorite place in the world and I love to share it with people. I find the high desert scenery to be relaxing — the smells of juniper and sage, especially after rain fall, the myriad bird calls that change throughout the day, the sunshine, the rugged, rolling landscape contrasted against the deep blue skies and mountain peaks. I could go on and on. Whenever I get the chance I head up there for some R&R, and my husband also enjoys it there. So much so that we’re now very seriously entertaining the idea of moving there! Many things to work out between now and then but the more I think about it, the more I want it (although it’s still weird to say it out loud or write it down!). A place where I am truly happy to get up every morning and look outside. A place where I am naturally relaxed and slow down to enjoy the little things. A place with plenty of fresh air, sunshine, and immediate access to outdoor activities. Heaven!

So while there this weekend we visited a home we knew was for sale. While the buildings were dilapidated and would need a lot of TLC (the manufactured home was total creepy horror movie material; we now completely understand why it’s stated “of no value” on the home listing!), the nearly 6 acres was at the end of a dirt road, hidden by small hills…with a completely stunning view you would never guess was there. The Crooked River rushing through the canyon below (you could see & hear it from the backyard!) and Mt Jefferson perfectly framed across the canyon. I can see myself there, in a hot tub at sunset of course. My mind is already designing the perfect home to sit atop our canyon view-point…

(We didn’t have our camera so were unable to capture photos of the exact lot…but here is one of my favorites from a trip to the family cabin!)

Just Say No

While this phrase is commonly associated with the annoying anti-drug campaign (at least in my mind!), it holds meaning in other ways which I’ve adapted to my life. Feeling overwhelmed and too busy? Making mistakes and forgetting things? You are over-committed! I have done this to myself sooo many times. You want to do it all! It’s what one of my girlfriends calls AMS, Afraid of Missing Something.

However, I know when I get into this mode, I am no longer living in the present or enjoying things…I’m just trying to survive and knock off everything on my list, while probably running late. And where is the fun in that?!?!

So over the past year or so I’ve been practicing the art of saying NO. Yes that outing (or party or what-have-you) sounds like fun and I’d love to see you, BUT I can’t. It’s as simple as that. Simple, but not easy 😉  Try it for a week or two. Do less and you’ll likely enjoy more. Especially if you say no to those things you don’t really want to do but do them anyway because of some external or internal pressure. (This post is as much about sharing with you, as reminding myself!!)